The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
