I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
