She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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