I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Did we literally take a cab across the street
As shirtless as possible
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize