I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
