I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
