toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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