You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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