dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
