She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
