Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
