Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
