How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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