He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just googled if crying burns calories
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
