i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
