Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
