His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
