Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize