you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
