I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just invented taco cereal.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
