Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Can Purell be used as lube?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
