Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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