i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
