no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she smelled like a LAN party
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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