yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
