I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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