We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
