I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
