I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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