We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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