one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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