Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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