dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
