I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
we should paint friendship bongs
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
