My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
