the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
