I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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