While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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