i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
