I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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