I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
