What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
