No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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