Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
