Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
