the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Can't talk, ducks in the car
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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