just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
