If that was your dad, he is hot
This girl is more easily done than said...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
