My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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