i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
