The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Everclear isn't food dammit
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
