I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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