This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
