i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
