New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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