I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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