Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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