We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
