I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
