what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
