All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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