It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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