talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
