i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
