sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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