How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
